Attitude of love and forgiveness

What a hard thing. I'm not going to go into details, but let's just say it is easier to forgive than to have God beat you over the head and heart with lessons on unforgiveness for an extended period of time. :D

Depression is a bitch

So, wow, not really updating this blog like I thought I would. Been too busy. OK, so I decided to kick the bottom up perspective and start focusing on what would be best for the family. So, step 1, prayed to God.
Step 2, walked away.


That's right, I stopped worrying about stuff. OK, I tell myself that I am not worrying about stuff, and then I keep praying. So, guess what happened?

Still have some stomach issues, but getting a lot better. This is probably due to:

New Job. Love it. Not sure if I am allowed to post where I work or not, but I will say that you should click on the sales link to a particular website on this page and start buying stuff from the link... Thanks. :)

New home. Couldn't buy, 2 loans fell through because of the changes. No big deal, in a killer rental for now.

New camera, check out the camera blog.

New computer for Alison, new monitor for me. Check out the CP PC woes blog.

New Baby!!!! Johnathan was born! We love him. Check out my Facebook page and photo pages for cool shots. E-mail me for more details.

Last but not least, a new found outlook. I don't have to worry, I can let God handle the issues and have faith. My wife is the queen of faith. Fortunately, she is also the queen of humility so she would never admit that.

Life is good. There is still more to say, but I don't feel that I am living life at the bottom of the food chain at this point. Which is good. Pray it stays this way. Probably won's post much here anymore. But seriously, click the links, I still need the money.

WM

Baby on the way, Gots to move

So, baby on the way, new thoughts concerning my current job and potential other employment, current job stress, baby on the way, need to move, car problems, church stress, custody stress, started getting ill stress, money stress, coworker stress, stress stress, finally got the better of me. I ended up getting sick at a very inopportune time and ended up looking like a total flake. Couldn't be helped. I still get sick every time I eat. I saw a doctor, and they thought Gallbladder. I saw a surgeon who wasn't so sure, but wants to take it anyway. Decisions Decisions.

So I put off the surgery for now until I pay down our current medical stuff. Don't get me wrong, I don't like to feel ill. However, the abrupt diet change has been extremely beneficial for all of those in our family. Ironically, I feel that if I go ahead and have this surgery, which is almost an elective surgery at this point, then we wouldn't be able to afford the vast quantities of higher quality food we now eat. Plus, I have seen substantial improvement. It just sucks.

Don't get me wrong, by higher quality I simply mean, not crap. No more greasy, from the box, or from the can food. We aren't eating steak and lobster here. Just more veggies, juices, no more butter, salt, sugar foods. You get the idea.

Torn between two opposites I weigh them out publicly for your amusement.
Lower quality food + stress = digestive issues = doctors / labs/ etc = $$

$$ + doctors = stress
$$ + doctors + stress = digestive issues (square one)

So get to the bottom of the issue:
doctors / labs/ etc = $$= Poor house + debt = lower quality food

Lower quality food = problems for everyone


But if I stay not 100%
No $ issues + better quality food - stress may= less stomach issues
Less stomach issues may = less stress

+ nobody else has health issues for a while, especially the kids who developed bad eating habits thanks to my love for Italian and other fatty foods.

Unless I develop Gallbladder cancer, then I'm a dead man.


This is stupid, I need 5000 people to Paypal me a dollar so I can get this taken care of before the baby comes, or I find a better job, or I move, or all of the above.

Oh, did I mention we are trying to move, and we are having a baby, and I am looking at my current job situation = stress

Time for a vacation

= less money +job stress +kid stress & being bored on vacation = lower quality food.
So hungry

Holy cow it has been a long time

Holy cow it has been a long time since I last posted a blog to this page.

A TON has happened since my last bitch-fest online. Luckily for the current 0 members of the viewing audience, neither leaving my rants nor adding to them has affected no one.

Good.

Ok, so now, Remarried. Took down the ex-wife's links from my blogs. Life is pretty good.
Still living in the rental. Dreams soon to be achieved, looking at funding for a piece of property.

1 away from 30, and having bizarre health crap. Mostly related to digestion, but that is a topic for another blog entry.

Let us begin.

If we had the money

Today I have been thinking about what I would do if I had the money. There are many nice things out there, and if I had a super disposable income I wouldn't even think of blogging in an attempt to make money (or for the cheap therapy aspect). But it really got me thinking about the thin ice I am skating on right now. My family insurance is lacking, savings is none, income is higher than it has ever been, but disposable income is not even in my vocabulary. I have a lot of debt, and with a wife in college, a ton more is on the way.

I have had enough. At the moment I am worried that any little thing will rock my tiny boat financially and I will sink to the bottom of the ocean of dept like a stone.

The sad thing is that my long term goals include sending my kids to college, buying a nice little house, and, God Willing, start a non-profit organization. How to get from point A to point B is really beyond me. I guess patience is in order. Either that or we get 10 million Internet users to all Paypal me a dollar (or a few), and then I change the world for the better. I am open to suggestions.

Bettering Myself

Slowly dragging myself out of bed this morning, I quickly found that I that I was too tired to spring into my usual routine. Why would this be? I had worked a fair share on things the day before, but I certainly didn't wear myself out. I felt like something was wrong. While I was thinking about this, I stumbled into the shower to try to get my body moving a little faster. Then it hit me. Maybe it is a combination of diet, stress, and environment. Yes, that explanation would cover all of the bases in life. I truly have no idea.

After my slow start, I decided that I should dedicate a good portion of my day to getting my house in order. It is the Biblical way to go, and it was truly driving me crazy. I cleaned, and I cleaned, and I took care of the garbage, and scrubbed my front room until every last God forsaken misplaced Cheerio was vacuumed up or eaten by my two year old. Just kidding, but the kids did leave quite a mess in the house.

I continued on with my day, all the while thinking about what I could blog about that would be profitable and beneficial to the world. Then it dawned on me.

Am I crazy, or does it seem that the less gas I use, the higher my monthly cost? Same with power, water, and food. I actually would like to have another kid, but I sure don't want to do that with the amount of debt I currently have. Also, I am renting a house from my grandparents. It is a good gig, but it would certainly not accommodate another person...

I am a youngish male father who actually works for a living. I can't possibly be the only one in my situation that feels the same way; broke ten days before payday, too tired to be effective, lacking ambition, and left with too much debt. I make more now than I ever have previously. I am trying to break away from my former life of food stamps, state medical, and cashing in cans to get enough gas to get me to work until payday. But what in the world changed. More importantly, what can I do, besides try to make more money, to fix it?

Life is...

I started writing a really long and drawn out reason for me to be depressed or disappointed myself today. I was thinking about the analogies I could use in this blog to express my points, and rant about my current situation. Then it dawned on me, I am doing this to better my situation, and assist others. Why should I down myself. I seem to be on a strange emotional roller coaster today. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe it is because I obsess about my debt. Maybe it is because I have two kids. I don't know. But what I do know is that I can...